I caved in to the peer pressure of popular culture and watched the entire “Star Wars” saga for the first time recently, and I’m shocked to say — I never, ever, ever imagined I’d say — that The Force is awake inside me. I’m now a fan of “Star Wars.”
Sorry, Mom and Dad.
Not only did I fall in love with the drama of life on Tatooine, get chills watching Anakin Skywalker’s path to the dark side, and pray for the demise of Jar Jar Binks, but I developed something in common with every 35-year-old male virgin in the world: I fell in love with Princess Leia.
Before The Force awakens a new generation of Jedi wannabes, and a slew of new characters invented by Disney make their imprints on geek culture, I thought I’d take a moment to reflect and respect the most badass woman of the galaxy far, far away: Princess Leia.
Here’s seven reasons, in honor of the movie franchise’s seventh installment, that Princess Leia is the ultimate female of the entire freakin’ galaxy.
1. She knows what to do with a lightsaber.
Every man can appreciate a woman who knows what to do with a lightsaber — especially when she gets it to light up and do something magical. We get it that most girls don’t enjoy operating a lightsaber, but there’s nothing worse, than a girl who has no clue what to do with a lightsaber. Most guys would rather go Hand Solo than deal a woman who lacks skills in handling a lightsaber.
2. Princess Leia is pro-guns.
Women whining about gun violence is so typical, and pretty annoying. Real men want a woman who lets him fight for the right to shoot, hunt and bare arms. Princess Leia isn’t likely to say, “But honey, guns are dangerous. Get rid of your guns or I’ll leave you, take the kids with me, and max out your credit cards!” She shot the hell out of a Stormtrooper for crying out loud. Not only will she support your right to own a gun, she’ll shoot them with you.
3. She’s totally into strangulation.
Some people think it’s hot getting choked. For Princess Leia, she’s a pro at it. Remember when she choked Jabba the Hutt with his own slave-girl chain? Of course you do!
4. She’s royalty.
Who doesn’t love a Princess? Whether it’s Princess Diana, Prince Harry, or Queen Latifah, everyone loves royalty.
5. Her brother is Luke Skywalker.
6. She has class.
Sure, Princess Leia has a wild side, but she wears a white dress, signifying gentleness, beauty and purity. She’s totally someone you can take home to your mother.
7. She has sass.
When Luke disguised himself as a Stormtrooper to free her, Princess Leia spoke up and threw shade at him for being a shortass.
How could a beautiful princess with fearless attitude not be the ultimate?