Clik here to view.
SORRY MOM & DAD: I’m getting too old for Netflix and chill
I’m getting too old for Netflix and chill. I want Amazon Prime and commitment. Don’t get it twisted, there’s nothing wrong with a Netflix and chill session. Who isn’t game for getting your nipples...
View ArticleClik here to view.
SORRY MOM & DAD: Call me Caitlyn — but just for Halloween
Now that I know Bernie Sanders owns more than one pair of underwear, I can sleep at night. The same is unlikely to be said for my parents when they find out I might dress as Caitlyn Jenner for...
View ArticleClik here to view.
SORRY MOM & DAD: George Schirra has bandanas you need in your life
I just want marijuana to be legalized already so I can quit my job and sell weed on Etsy. Sorry, Mom and Dad. For those who aren’t familiar, Etsy is an online marketplace where people around the world...
View ArticleClik here to view.
SORRY MOM & DAD: Why does everybody love Anna Kendrick?
I’m probably alone with this thought, but I’ll say it anyway. Why does everybody love Anna Kendrick? I just don’t get it. I mean I have to admit she seemed pretty relatable when she appeared on “Billy...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Sorry Mom and Dad: 5 stages of getting laid off
Getting laid off can suck some serious big floppy donkey dick, but it happens to a lot of people. It’s only normal to feel buried in a superabundance of emotions after hearing: “Your position has been...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Sorry Mom & Dad: I’d rather spend Thanksgiving in Paris
My brother is coming in from Iowa for Thanksgiving and bringing his pregnant girlfriend who I don’t care for. He lives in The Hawkeye State for work. I can’t remember what he does. He’s either an...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Sorry Mom & Dad: If I was president
Love him or hate him, Donald Trump is America’s obsession. I guess after Obama proved a black man can finally get in to the White House, it’s time to prove even someone like Trump can grow up to be...
View ArticleSorry Mom & Dad: 270 columns down, five to go
I would describe myself as someone who has a way with words, making an entrance and constructing a pretty bomb homemade beer bong. Some might describe me differently. They might say I’m funny, selfish,...
View ArticleSorry Mom & Dad: 7 reasons Princess Leia is the ultimate badass of the galaxy
I caved in to the peer pressure of popular culture and watched the entire “Star Wars” saga for the first time recently, and I’m shocked to say — I never, ever, ever imagined I’d say — that The Force is...
View ArticleEditor, writer apologize for column’s content
Statement from Weekender Editor Sarah Haase regarding a column that previously appeared in this space: I’d like to apologize to all those who were hurt and offended by a recent Sorry Mom and Dad column...
View Article